


it doesn’t get better than this

by fir8008



Series: give the bruises out like gifts [4]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Rainz (Korea Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Implied Sexual Content, Missing Scene, Multi, eunki-centric, eventual jungki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-06-25 05:06:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19738915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fir8008/pseuds/fir8008
Summary: "i thought it doesn't get better than this / there can be nothing better than this"5 times Eunki's attempts at relationships and love crashed and burned, and the 1 time it didn't(a "come on skinny love" prequel)





	1. 1 - high school, second year

**Author's Note:**

> *pokes head out* h-h-hewwo? is anyone still there? 
> 
> hey there, it's been a long time again, and ahh, i'm sorry about it, literally my only excuse is that my brain has been very busy revisiting all the hyperfixations of my middle school years and in my downtime writing has been the thing i really want to do but haven't been able to for whatever reason. but i'm back again with this chaptered fic! you may have noticed the chapters are pretty short, and i feel a bit of an ass about it, but i really wanted to post with some regularity so i hope no one really minds it! 
> 
> this is basically a collection of drabbles that follow eunki's mishaps in love and relationships before "come on skinny love" but reading the whole series and the other prequels is probably not necessary to understand this fic. there will also be implied sexual content in basically every chapter, but nothing explicit 
> 
> most of all, i hope you enjoy!! 
> 
> Title (and the line in the summary) comes from Florence + the Machine's "South London Forever"

Sangbin isn’t a very attentive lover, not that Eunki really knows the difference between an attentive and a not attentive lover. He just assumes Sangbin isn’t a very attentive one because he isn’t very affectionate and he doesn’t really say anything except to ask periodically if Eunki is okay. 

Eunki doesn’t really know what he expected out of Sangbin. They’re not really that close and they’ve only ended up in the same social circle because of Insoo. Eunki knows Insoo and Sangbin were a thing at some point, but since Insoo is cyberstalking the older guy he met at the club they snuck into, Eunki doesn’t turn down Sangbin’s advances. Eunki thinks Sangbin must like him to some extent, that same night at the club Eunki had spent most of the night with Sangbin’s mouth on his neck and on his chest. He probably would’ve been more aroused if he weren’t shitfaced, and judging from the hickeys he woke up to, things might have gone a lot further if he had been sober. 

So when Sangbin rests his hand on Eunki’s thigh so high up his hand might as well be in his lap, and leans in so close that all Eunki can smell is cigarettes and breath mints, and says that Eunki is just his type, Eunki says yes to that unsaid question. 

Eunki can’t really remember it, that first time, it’s like he blinked and missed it completely. He knows that it doesn’t feel as life changing as he thought it would feel, and that Eunki doesn’t really feel any differently than before. The stars and planets are all where they were before; they haven’t realigned. Eunki’s world is still the same color. Nothing has changed. Not even Eunki himself. 

Sangbin isn’t exactly cold, but he isn’t warm, and Eunki misses the warmth that isn’t there. He wants to be held. He wants to be kissed. Sangbin’s mouth has only sucked bruises all over Eunki’s neck and chest, but he never kissed him. Eunki wanted to, he’d even tried to, but Sangbin had deftly avoided him. Eunki found it strange, like he was having sex with someone at arm’s length, but that kind of distance made Eunki want more. He could understand Insoo’s tumultuous relationship with Sangbin better now, why despite Insoo’s frequent bitching about Sangbin he went back to him constantly, at least before Kenta came into the picture. 

So Eunki calls a few days after it happens because he wants to see if Sangbin will give him any more. He doesn’t really want the kind of thing Insoo and Sangbin have, but maybe Sangbin could warm up to him a little bit more. But Sangbin is even colder when he’s on the phone, and he gruffly asks Eunki what he wants. 

“Where are you?” Eunki asks. 

“I’m with Insoo. Why?” 

Eunki freezes. Now he feels something, like someone’s sucker punched him in the gut. His eyes are stinging. He was the fool all along and his ears start burning. Insoo has said stuff like this before, that Sangbin will sleep with any guy that shows the slightest interest in him, without attachments. Eunki fell for it. And Sangbin and Insoo have always had this thing, so maybe it’s just how their relationship works, why Insoo was so desperately chasing someone else.

“If that was all you wanted to know, I’m going to hang up.” Sangbin says, and when Eunki can’t find words, he does hang up. 

When Eunki finally gets his emotions in order, he realizes that he feels very guilty. Insoo is his friend, maybe even his best friend. And Eunki had sex with the guy Insoo sort of has a thing with, and no matter how complicated and messy it is, friends don’t sleep with their friend’s… boyfriend? fuck buddy? Whatever Sangbin actually is to Insoo, Eunki was wrong to give in to the animal magnetism that drew him in. 

So he avoids Insoo, not like it’s hard now when Insoo’s gotten kicked out of dance club, because Eunki is too embarrassed, too guilty, to face him. It works for a few days and then Insoo approaches him first and says he’s sorry. Eunki’s heart sinks when he realizes he’ll have to explain what’s really wrong to Insoo, because Insoo doesn’t have anything remotely resembling the right end of the stick. 

“I had sex with Sangbin hyung.” It feels strange to say, because in some way it doesn’t feel like it happened. If anything, Eunki only feels emptier than before, like there’s a gaping hole somewhere inside of him, except it isn’t Sangin’s fault. Eunki thinks he would feel this empty no matter who he had actually slept with, and a fear begins to creep into that gaping hole, the fear that it’s never going to mean anything, that Eunki is always going to feel this empty and alone.


	2. 2 - university, first year, first semester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i almost never update at this time of the day, but here we are! 
> 
> i hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Starting university opens a whole new world to Eunki. He doesn’t live at home anymore. Home is one long, uncomfortable bus ride away. So he isn’t subject to his father’s judgment in person anymore. He can study dance in peace. He doesn’t have to hide anything. He doesn’t have to be anyone he isn’t. He’s meeting new people. People he wants to spend more time with. And people he is definitely interested in having sex with.

So during the second week of classes, Eunki buys the biggest box of condoms he can find.

By midterms, Eunki has a reputation. 

“So are you going to install a revolving door to your room or what?” 

Eunki knows that Insoo is not purposely trying to be mean, but he can’t help but feel hurt. After all, Insoo is all about acting like a carefree hellion, so why does he sound so miffed about Eunki having casual sex? 

“Who are you to talk? It’s not like you keep your legs closed either.” Hwanwoong snorts.

Insoo scowls. “Was anyone talking to you? And what do you mean? I have a boyfriend and I do keep my legs closed. You’re just jealous because no girl will lower her standards to sleep with you.” 

“Says the one who always got in trouble for doing inappropriate things on school property all three years of high school,” Hwanwoong grumbles. “But no seriously, Eunki, there’s been a lot of guys coming and going.” 

Eunki flushes. “I’m just having fun.”

“A lot of it,” Hwanwoong grumbles.

“Are you using protection?” Insoo asks. 

“Of course I am!” 

Insoo shrugs. “Just making sure since you’re apparently trying to sleep with everyone in our year.” 

“I am not!” Eunki sighs. “I’m just meeting people, and experiencing new things…” 

Hwanwoong snorts. “Yeah, no kidding.” 

Eunki can feel his ears getting hot. “Is it bothering you? Is it too loud?” 

Do other people think he’s easy? Do Eunki’s friends think he’s easy? That he sleeps with anyone who shows him the slightest bit of attention? It might have been like that the first couple of times, when sex was all exhilaration and exploration, but Eunki has preferences. He might sleep around a lot, but he has a type he likes. 

“Not usually,” Insoo says. 

Hwanwoong shrugs neutrally. “I think you usually make more noise unlocking the front door.” 

“I was just curious because you’re screwing like the world is ending and I wanted to know if I had to go fly out to see my man before it happens,” Insoo continues.

“I hate you,” Eunki says and Insoo has the nerve to look taken aback while Hwanwoong snorts out a laugh.

Eunki decides to wait until Hwanwoong is visiting his parents to ask Insoo.

“Did Sangbin ever kiss you when you two were together?” 

Insoo doesn’t even look up from the pizza he’s about to inhale. “No, but he did spit in my mouth once,” he says nonchalantly. 

Eunki cringes. “That’s disgusting.” 

“Yeah, I’m into some weird stuff but I figured out I wasn’t into that.” Insoo shrugs. “Why?” 

“No reason in particular. I guess I was just thinking about the guys I hook up with now. They’re a lot more affectionate than Sangbin was.” 

“Yeah, that hyung really isn’t into foreplay. You’re much better off now that you’re meeting new people.” Insoo nods. “But are you actually looking for someone to date or are you just sleeping around?” 

“I don’t know,” Eunki answers. “I’m just figuring stuff out. I’ve never had this much freedom before. No one’s checking up on me. My mom tells me to call her all the time, but I can ignore her if I want to and I wasn’t able to do that before.”

“I get that.” 

“And I’ve never dated anyone, or had a long term relationship of any kind. Even if you and Sangbin hyung don’t always get along, you were together for a long time.”

“I’m better off not being with him too. He’s fun to sleep with if you do it with him more than once but he can make you feel lonely. Even with Kenta being so far from me and us not being completely official, he doesn’t make me feel that lonely.” Insoo shrugs. 

Eunki blinks, thinking about the feeling of wanting more after being with Sangbin and how he didn’t feel it when he was busy hooking up. Maybe it’s because Eunki knows nothing is going to come from those hookups, and that’s just what they are. Sangbin had seemed slightly interested in him at one time, and Eunki had been searching for more too. 

“I don’t feel lonely now.” Eunki says.

Insoo has polished off his pizza. “Good. You shouldn’t let other people make you feel lonely.” 

Eunki thinks about all the people he’s meeting, and how he barely ever spends the night alone anymore, and thinks that he really doesn’t feel lonely. And even if he is a little bit lonely, things are better than they were, and that’s more than enough.


	3. 3 - university, first year, beginning of second semester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello! 
> 
> ah, this chapter is a bit short and i really do think they're all quite short. this fic went through many iterations before i chose this concept, and this is the only bit from previous drafts that survived the cutting room floor. maybe that's why it's a bit shorter than the rest... 
> 
> even so i hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Eunki comes home a few days early, body still freezing from the stinging chilliness of his house and the bitingly cold words his father had said to him. Eunki rubs his arms, the frostiness of that atmosphere still clinging to him. Visiting home was a mistake.

Eunki warms up by going to a house party, alcohol burning down Eunki’s throat until it feels like there’s a pool of fire in his belly. Eunki’s skin feels hot to the touch, like he might burn the people around him if they come too close. Eunki is dancing, feeling his whole body growing hot and drunk and sweaty. His mind is in a thick summer haze so he doesn’t mind at all when there’s a warm body pressed against his back and a warm heavy arm wrapped around his waist and hot breath on his ear asking if Eunki would like to go home with him. 

Eunki’s about to say yes when a familiar voice cuts him off. “Sorry, he’s with me.” 

Eunki pouts as Junyoung puts his arm around his shoulders and begins steering him out of the party. “Junyoung hyung, I’m fine,” Eunki whines. 

“You’re drunk off your ass,” Junyoung replies. 

“I can take care of myself” Eunki mutters. 

“Sure,” Junyoung says.

Eunki stumbles even when he’s holding onto Junyoung, and he has to stop more than once to throw up, the alcohol finally souring in the pit of his stomach and making him sick. Eunki wants to sleep badly, so he’s pretty oblivious to the fact that Junyoung isn’t walking him back to his dorm, and Junyoung unlocks the door to his apartment with an apologetic grimace. 

“I completely forgot where you said you lived and by the time I realized I was walking you back to my place, you had already thrown up twice, so I figured you should just get to bed.” Junyoung says as he lets them in.

Eunki kicks off his shoes unsteadily and then immediately kicks a beer can. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill them,” Junyoung mutters, though he sounds slightly like he wants to cry. 

Junyoung and Eunki wade through a sea of discarded beer cans. Junyoung lets Eunki flop down on his bed and leaves the room. When he comes back he seems even more hysterical. “They’re not even home!” he huffs. “Anyway, this is my room. You can sleep here.”

Eunki is already half asleep but he feels Junyoung tilt his head so it’s on its side. Junyoung gives the top of his head a pat and Eunki dozes off.

Eunki wakes up with a throbbing headache and rolls out of Junyoung’s bed and hobbles out into the living room, which is now devoid of beer cans. Junyoung is making toast and grumbling to himself. Eunki rests his chin on Junyoung’s shoulder. 

“Hi there,” Junyoung says, reaching into the drying rack to grab a cup. He fills it with water and hands it to Eunki. 

“Where’re your roommates?” Eunki asks. 

“Junghu said they went to a concert and then did something else and I don’t actually know where they are.” Junyoung sighs. “They’re all older than me and they act like this.” 

Eunki just hums in agreement as he sips his water. 

“What about you?” Junyoung says. “I thought you were visiting your parents.” 

“I came back early,” Eunki says. 

“Do your housemates know you’re back?” Junyoung asks. 

Eunki is glad Junyoung didn’t ask why he came back early. “Yeah, but I’m sure they were expecting me to sleep out. They don’t check up on me.” 

“Do you always go home with strangers?” Junyoung asks as the toast pops up.

“Sometimes they come home with me,” Eunki shrugs.

Junyoung frowns as he puts his toast on a plate that Eunki notices is slightly chipped. “You have to be more careful. Some of those people can be dangerous.” 

“I’m fine, hyung,” Eunki mumbles. “I would’ve been fine last night too.” 

“There are a lot of people who would worry if anything happened to you,” Junyoung says. “Me, and Taehyun hyung, and your other friends too.” 

Eunki sighs, and rests his head on Junyoung’s shoulder. 

“I know,” he says softly. 

Junyoung refills his cup with more water and smiles. “What do you want to eat?” 

Eunki pouts. “It’s really too bad you’re not gay, hyung. You’d be a great boyfriend.”


	4. 4 - university, first year, end of second semester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello 
> 
> oh my good god this chapter fought me tooth and nail for two whole weeks it just did not want to happen it just dug in its heels and refused to happen hoo boy
> 
> to make up for last chapter being a tad shorter than the rest, and perhaps to justify how dang long this took, this chapter's a bit longer! it's actually over 1000 words unlike the previous ones.
> 
> i hope you enjoy this one too!
> 
> oh and there is some brief sexual content in this chapter, but it's mainly implied and not very explicit

Eunki is drinking like the world is ending, but that in itself isn’t new. What’s new is that he’s only been talking to one guy all night as they’ve both progressively gotten more and more drunk. 

They’re at an end of semester party and his name is Woohyuk and he’s one of Junyoung’s friends. He’s graduating. He has lots of earrings and a tattoo and Eunki is kind of crazy about all of it. And so in increasingly unsubtle ways Eunki is trying to get in his pants. Lucky for him, Woohyuk seems to be taking the hint as he steps closer and closer into Eunki’s personal space the more they drink. 

When they finally kiss, Eunki feels like he’s won something even if their kiss tastes like way too much beer. They keep drinking and keep making out until it gets handsy and sloppy and Woohyuk pulls away and suggests they go somewhere else. 

He digs in his pocket, pulling out his phone with some effort. “Let me call my friend and he can drive us,” Woohyuk slurs. 

“Sounds good,” Eunki is swaying, holding onto Woohyuk for balance even though Woohyuk is shorter than him, and keeps kissing Woohyuk’s neck even as he makes his phone call. When Woohyuk hangs up, they resume making out, Woohyuk grabbing at Eunki’s ass and Eunki grinding his hips against Woohyuk in return. Their kissing gets progressively sloppier but Eunki is completely enthralled and the noise of the party and the people around him fade away completely. 

The honking of a car horn breaks Eunki out of his stupor, but only temporarily. A guy Eunki thinks he may recognize is hanging out the driver’s side window with a highly exasperated expression. “Man, what the fuck,” he says in lieu of greeting. 

“Jinwon! You’re here,” Woohyuk wraps his arm around Eunki’s waist and pulls him towards the car. 

Jinwon’s eyes widen as they stumble into the backseat. Eunki bangs his head on the side of the car by not ducking low enough when he slides in, and then slams the door so hard the car rocks. “Do not break my car,” Jinwon says imploringly. “Jesus, you are both plastered. Where the hell do you live? I’m going to drive you home.” 

It takes Eunki a moment to realize he’s the one being spoken to, but he eventually conjures his address from the depths of his drunk brain - he hopes it’s not his old address - and then Woohyuk’s lips are on his again and Eunki forgets everything else. 

Jinwon is not actually a bad driver, but neither Woohyuk nor Eunki put on their seatbelts when they got in the car, so whenever Jinwon turns, they end up sliding across the backseat and giggling uncontrollably as they untangle their limbs. Eunki still hasn’t given up on his plan to get into Woohyuk’s pants so the next time they’re sliding around, Eunki pitches himself forward so he falls face first into Woohyuk’s lap, his intended destination. 

Woohyuk is half hard and Eunki is so drunk that he really has no self-control or shame so he starts rubbing his face on Woohyuk’s crotch. Woohyuk rests his hand on the back of Eunki’s head, raking his fingers through Eunki’s hair with one had while the other starts fumbling open his zipper. 

“What are you two doing?” Jinwon yelps. “Stop that! You’re going to make me crash!” 

Eunki isn’t paying any attention to Jinwon, he’s too completely taken in by Woohyuk’s hands in his hair and the way he tastes. Eunki should care that Jinwon can definitely see everything, but honestly, Eunki has probably been in more compromising situations than this and he just wants Woohyuk so badly right now that he can’t really help himself. 

Eunki thinks even less when turning sends him sprawling backwards but Woohyuk’s body follows and both their hands start fumbling with Eunki’s fly. 

Eunki wakes up in his bed. His head is throbbing and he sees stars when he tries to open his eyes. His shirt is rucked up under his armpits, like he tried to take it off but got stuck and gave up, or fell asleep halfway through stripping. He’s also in his underwear, but that doesn’t immediately present itself as a problem. He apparently managed to kick his pants off before falling into bed. That was good. Sleeping in jeans was never comfortable. 

The problem occurs when Eunki cannot find his jeans anywhere, even after turning his room upside down and scouring the house for them. He groans. Those were new jeans and he really needs to find them.

His wallet and his house keys are on their kitchen counter with a note from Hwanwoong berating him for leaving important stuff laying around. Unfortunately, Eunki’s jeans are not also on the counter, nor are they in anyone’s dirty clothes baskets. Eunki reluctantly messages Hwanwoong and Insoo asking if either of them saw him come home, and whether or not he was wearing pants in the first place. Neither of them saw him come home so Eunki avoids their questions about why Eunki is asking such a question and tries to retrace his steps. 

It would have been helpful to know where his wallet and keys had been when Hwanwoong found them, because they had definitely been in Eunki’s pockets before. But Eunki doesn’t really want to ask because he doesn’t want Hwanwoong to lay into him about being so irresponsible. He’s going to get this talk in person anyway, so he doesn’t want to have it twice. 

Eunki turns the apartment upside down a second time, even discreetly picking through Insoo and Hwanwoong’s rooms in the bizarre off chance he’d somehow taken them off in there, but his search yields no results. Eunki groans at himself in annoyance. Leave it to him to lose an entire pair of jeans. Shoes? Somehow not lost. His keys and wallet? Honestly, makes sense they’d be dropped in a random place. But his pants? How did he manage that? 

Eunki is still sulking about it when he steps outside to throw away the recycling when he sees it. The smallest scrap of blue denim sticking out and mocking him. He pulls his jeans out from behind the landlady’s vegetable garden sign, feeling incredulous. There’s dirt on them, from Eunki evidently sticking them in the dirt, as well as stains down the front and Eunki suddenly remembers a lot of the previous night and his face starts burning. 

Eunki balls up his jeans, buries his face in them, finds a clean bit of fabric to stuff between his teeth, and screams.


	5. 5 - university, second year, first semester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: did you really write this at 4am today 
> 
> also me, swirling black coffee in a wine glass: yes i did what the fuck about it 
> 
> i really and truly astonish myself with the way i write hahaha i said last chapter that chapter took two full weeks to write meanwhile this one struggled its way out after like five hours in the wee hours of the morning, one day i'll go back to writing a little every day instead of panic writing like this ahh... 
> 
> despite the way this came together which was very messily and slapdash... i hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> (consistent verb tenses?? i never met her)

By all accounts, Eunki was not good at giving himself pep talks. 

“Can you please stop embarrassing yourself?” he whispers at his reflection. He glares at himself and imagines his mirror image shrugging waspishly and saying “I don’t know, can I stop embarrassing myself?”

It’s the second year of university. He already had a rampant reputation that he slept around and while, yes, it was mostly true, it didn’t mean he wanted it to be like that forever. He wanted a real, long term boyfriend. Searching for one would be easy. All he had to do was slow his roll a bit, and do smart things like ask for people’s phone numbers instead of just going off somewhere with someone and then never speaking to them again. It would be easy. 

Except it wasn’t, apparently. And that’s why Eunki is drunk off his ass at a Halloween party that he is not dressed up for, except he’s clearly a fool because the guy he thought was interested in him was not interested in dating him. Then why did you keep talking to me, Eunki wants to scream, why didn’t you just tell me it was over. Instead his reflection is judging him as someone pounds on the door to the bathroom and complains they’ve got to piss, so Eunki stumbles out and returns to the crowd. 

He can’t find Hwanwoong or Insoo or Kenta, which is just as well because he wants to feel miserable for a little while. Eunki appreciates his friends for comforting him and telling him to buck up, but sometimes he just wants to mope. Junyoung is even worse in this regard. Even though Eunki really and truly loves Junyoung for talking to him sensibly about things, and never pretending to understand what he can’t, he makes it harder to sit around and sulk because he’s always so pragmatic. 

“Eunki yah,” Eunki finally finds Taehyun, who is drunk and swaying and holding onto his friend’s waist. He’d introduced him to her earlier in the evening when they’d all been sober. Her name was Hyeran and she was an old friend of Taehyun’s, a dancer, and she was dressed up as a sexy baseball player, which was really just a sheer pinstripe bodysuit that exposed her bright red bra.

“She forgot her pants,” Taehyun had stage whispered at Eunki. 

Hyeran had jabbed at Taehyun with her baseball bat, which was also red. “You forgot your manners,” she chided. Hyeran was tall and beautiful and her costume showed off her figure. If Eunki liked girls, Hyeran would probably be his type. Eunki guessed she was probably Taehyun’s type too. 

“Taehyun hyung.” 

Taehyun reaches up to pat the top of Eunki’s head. Eunki does not squat to make it easier for him. He did that once and then was on the receiving end of a rant about how Taehyun wasn’t short, Eunki was just stupidly tall. “We’re going to get out of here. Don’t do anything stupid.” 

Eunki just nods and tells them good night, pointedly not saying anything about how not doing anything stupid was evidently outside of his capabilities. 

After a half hour, Eunki still cannot find his other friends so he just gives up and drags himself home. In a sense, he’s gotten what he wanted, which was to be alone and miserable. Even so, when Eunki returns to his apartment, he can hear soft grunting coming from one of the other rooms. He assumes it’s Taehyun, probably with Hyeran. 

Eunki changes into his pajamas and flops into bed. Good for Taehyun. Someone deserves to get laid on a night like tonight.

Eunki wakes to pictures of Hyeran that Hwanwoong took at the party, most of them blurry, lots of them focusing on her long legs, followed by many thirsty requests that Eunki please introduce them. Eunki declines. 

He stays curled up in bed reading messages between Hwanwoong and Insoo sniping at each other over last night, and Eunki is about to breathe a sigh of relief that neither of them has asked him about the guy he’s clearly not dating when Hwanwoong asks. Eunki sighs and taps out that he was just a one night stand and claims it isn’t a big deal, even though it is and Eunki’s pride is still smarting from being rejected. Eunki turns down Insoo’s offer of vehicular homicide, but does take up Hwanwoong’s offer to come over to get some pity. 

Hwanwoong has far too many roommates, and the one who opens the door to Eunki looks half asleep. 

“Hi, I’m Hwanwoong’s friend.” Eunki says, not sure of what else to say. 

“Hi, I’m one of Hwanwoong’s roommates,” the guy says. “I’m Sewoon. Hwanwoong is in his room right now.” 

Eunki follows Sewoon down a narrow hallway and through a cluttered kitchen to the bedrooms and Sewoon lets him into Hwanwoong’s, which is pitch black with the curtains drawn.

“Hey,” Hwanwoong groans. 

“I thought you had soup. I thought you were feeling better,” Eunki says, groping in the darkness for Geonhee’s bed to sit on. 

“The second round came,” Hwanwoong’s voice is muffled. “I’m never going to drink with Kenta hyung again. At least for him it all comes back up right away. I’m probably going to be feeling this for days. I hate him. And Insoo. They’re the worst.” 

“It must be nice to have someone though,” Eunki says a little bitterly. He knows Kenta and Insoo have had their fair share of petty squabbles since they moved in together and made it official, but part of him was still jealous. All of Insoo’s patience had paid off, after all. 

“Oh, Eunki,” Hwanwoong groans. “Don’t worry about that. You’re a catch. You’ll meet the right one soon.” 

Eunki doesn’t say anything contradictory, nor does he sigh that it wouldn’t really matter. Anyone he met at school now was bound to know his reputation, and maybe they wouldn’t want to go steady with him anyway. Insoo got his man by remaining steadfast and patient, but at least he knew who he was waiting for. Hwanwoong says the right one is coming soon, but Eunki has a hard time picturing it. 

Hwanwoong gags in the darkness. “I don’t want you dating someone like those two anyway,” he groans. “You’d be way too destructive. I wouldn’t survive two couples just like them.” 

Eunki has to laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah, descriptive words were not coming out this morning for me, but if you actually wanted to know what hyeran's sexy baseball player costume looks like it's supposed to be her outfit from brave girls' "high heels" mv!! (issa bop too... i miss brave girls)


	6. +1 - university, second year, second semester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! 
> 
> first of all, i am so sorry this is late TT i was actually writing a little every day like a productive functional human and then my brain decided to yeet all my serotonin and so i got really gloomy and needed a few days of being a potato before getting back on track, and my brain is still not really producing any happy hormones so this chapter isn't as fluffy as i sort of wanted it to be TT even so, i hope this is a satisfactory ending to this fic!! 
> 
> really, thank you for continuing to read my fics, there are three or four more fics i want to write for this series and i hope you can anticipate them too! thank you always for reading and i really hope you enjoy <3 i love you guys <3

Eunki has two New Year’s Resolutions. 

One, stop getting blackout drunk.

Two, stop going home with random guys and find someone to try going steady with. 

The first one borders on unreasonable because all of his friends hit the bottle way too hard, and so does Eunki, but Eunki really wants to start remembering the nights he spends out with his friends. Not drinking and not hooking up with strangers really goes hand in hand, so Eunki figures he can kill two birds with one stone. If he’s sober, he can be a little more selective about the guys he meets and maybe that way he can find someone nice to actually date instead of just spending the night with him. 

His friends are not very supportive. 

“Sorry, Eunki,” Taehyun snickers. “I think your odds of making good on those resolutions are pretty low. But sure, do your best!”

Eunki scowls. “Hyung.”

“No, really, try your best. But most New Year’s Resolutions are never met, so don’t beat yourself up if you give up on them in a couple of weeks.” 

“Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence.” 

Taehyun pats him on the back. “I’m not trying to be mean, but once you see a hot guy your brain goes out the window, so I’d like to see you sticking to your guns.”

Eunki scowls harder. “I’m going to stick with it.” 

“Well,” Taehyun smiles. “Good luck with that.”

Spite propels Eunki through the first week of the semester. He avoids parties when he can since he quickly learns that going to parties without drinking was a dull affair of side stepping drunk people or hovering around his very drunk friends and trying to keep them from throwing up in public. 

He wishes he was drinking because Taehyun has been fuming day and night about people dropping out of their dance team and there’s only so many times he can hear Taehyun talk about disrespecting a sacred oath to be on a university dance team immediately followed by Park Woojin, their one and only faithful dance team newbie, saying that he respected the sacred oath of being on a university dance team. It’s almost like a call and response and Eunki envies the beers Junyoung downs to ignore them with, especially when Taehyun starts snapping that he obviously knows Woojin is still there. 

Eunki does eventually crack, and it’s really Kenta’s fault. 

Kenta is always drinking some sugar bomb with a high enough alcohol content to tranquilize a bear and Insoo’s latest attempt to run interference is to pawn off Kenta’s drinks on their friends while Kenta is distracted. Hwanwoong doesn’t have the stomach for it so Eunki relents and downs something that’s bright blue and at least half syrup. 

Not drinking has evidently weakened Eunki’s alcohol tolerance so he immediately finds himself heaving over the toilet wondering how Kenta can throw back these kinds of drinks like they’re nothing. 

Well, maybe it’s not really like nothing considering how much Insoo complains about Kenta throwing up everywhere once the night is over and they go back home.

When Eunki has finally emptied his guts and sobered up a tiny bit, he stumbles out of the bathroom and passes the hottest guy he has ever seen. Eunki fully does a double take as he passes him. Eunki only sees the side of his face, but this guy has a heavenly side profile, red hair, a great back, and an even better ass. Eunki almost turns around to follow the guy and introduce himself but he immediately squashes the idea. He’s already goofed on the first of his New Year’s Resolutions and he is not going to goof on the second one too. At least not on the same night. 

Even though Eunki is proud of himself in the moment he ends up kicking himself for letting such a good looking guy slip by him. 

“I could have at least asked for his number,” Eunki whines. 

Junyoung pats him on the head reassuringly. “If you’re meant to really be with that guy, you’ll see him again.”

Eunki goes back to sulking. 

Taehyun is well aware of Eunki’s New Year’s Resolutions but he still picks a nightclub as the place to have an official dance team outing after the new members have been added. So Eunki has a few drinks and enjoys himself up until Hyungseob spills beer on him and then he sees a guy on the dancefloor who makes the world shift into slow motion. 

He looks a little familiar, but Eunki can’t think of where he’s seen this guy before. But he is drop dead gorgeous and Eunki has been so good about sticking to his New Year’s Resolutions but after letting that other hot guy get away he’s feeling like he might renege on that one once and for all. 

No, no, no, he’s come this far he isn’t going to throw all of his hard work (of all of two and a half weeks) down the drain for a random hot guy. Eunki wants to dance because this guy is a great dancer. All they have to do is dance. And maybe Eunki can get his number and go on a date with him later when they’re sober and it’s daylight.

So they do dance, but after a couple of drinks all pretense of dancing goes out the window. They’re grinding on each other and Eunki’s earlier conviction about not throwing his New Year’s Resolutions down the drain has been completely obliterated. He wants to go home with this guy so badly, he’s practically chomping at the bit to go. 

The walk to his house sobers Eunki up just a little bit, but this guy’s kiss is so intoxicating that Eunki feels drunk again as soon as their lips touch again and he is so hot Eunki could die. It’s probably because he’s still pretty drunk but the pain doesn’t even register when they fall off the couch in a shirtless heap and they laugh and kiss each other again. 

And when he lays his head on Eunki’s chest and they fall asleep just like that on the floor, Eunki can’t help but feel a warm feeling blooming in his chest and thinking that this is actually kind of nice. 

His name is Jung Jung. 

His smile reminds Eunki of sunshine and spring days and it warms Eunki all over. 

He loves Eunki, and Eunki loves him just as much. It’s a strange and overwhelming feeling at first, that someone finally reciprocates Eunki’s feelings, but Jung Jung is so sweet and so good Eunki can’t question his intentions at all because they’re transparent anyway. 

Jung Jung likes him and he makes Eunki so, so happy. Eunki has never smiled or laughed so much with another person in so long, his heart has never felt so full; he’s never felt so happy.

“I love you, hyung,” Eunki says, squeezing Jung Jung’s hand. 

Jung Jung’s face lights up like he’s ecstatic to hear Eunki loves him and he smiles so broadly that Eunki can’t help but smile back. 

“I love you too!” he declares, giving Eunki a quick kiss. “I am always very happy when I am with you, and I want to be with you for a long time!” 

Eunki’s eyes prickle with tears. They’re happy tears though. For a long time, Eunki questioned if he was good enough for someone to love in the way Eunki wanted to be loved, and he questioned whether or not his friends were blowing smoke up his ass saying the right guy was out there waiting for him somewhere. But now, looking at Jung Jung, Eunki knows his friends were right, and he knows that Jung Jung loves him in ways that Eunki can’t always understand. 

But having this kind of love makes Eunki think all the heartbreak and loneliness was worth it if he could be this happy at the end.

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on Twitter @jy_kim8008 !!


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